International Travel: Lessons on Stereotypes, Perspective, and Mistakes

Other than going to Jamaica on a college service trip and traveling through eastern Canada, I had never traveled internationally until the summer of 2018. That year, I visited my daughter in France. In 2020, right before COVID shut down most travel, I visited my daughter in Morocco and then spent some time in Barcelona on the way back. While I’ve always felt confident traveling domestically, international travel was a new experience, with the confidence ebbing and flowing. I absolutely loved the international trips I took and what I learned from them.

Make the Effort

International travel made me confront my fears and challenge my stereotypes and assumptions. It takes courage to travel to places where you don’t speak the language. You learn quickly how much you can communicate with hand gestures and head nods. And when I stepped back and questioned my assumption that you have to know the language to travel, it became obvious that such an assumption would eliminate the ability to travel to many places.

I came to realize that many people in foreign countries appreciate the effort, and that you too can appreciate your own efforts, no matter how small. Here are some examples.  

In Annecy, France, I walked into a pâtisserie and asked the person behind the counter, “Parlez-vous anglais?” She understood me well enough to say no. I managed to still point and come out with three beautiful éclairs au chocolat.

The front desk person at the hotel I stayed at in Meknes, Morocco spoke a touch of English, some French, and Arabic. My daughter had taught me that when meeting people in Morocco, you say, “Salam alaikum”. After a few very brief conversations with the clerk, one day upon returning to the hotel I said, “Salam alaikum” to him. His whole face lit up and he started sharing some other common Moroccan phrases with me. Seeing the connection I made with him by trying that simple phrase is a memory fresh in my mind a year later.

My last night in Morocco, I was eating alone at a crêpe place in Fes. English is not always commonly spoken in Morocco, so I worked up enough courage to tell the server, in my super limited French, that I don’t speak French: “Je ne parle pas francais.” I had practiced that line at least 100 times to myself. I don’t think she understood a thing I said, but I was still able to successfully order a wonderful triple chocolate crêpe.

Let Go of Stereotypes

Stereotypes are powerful and traveling made me question them. In telling people my daughter was working in Morocco and that I was going to travel there, you wouldn’t believe (okay, maybe you would) how many people’s first response was along the lines of, “Is it safe there; is it a terrorist country; are you worried about al Qaeda?” I didn’t go to Morocco fearful and in traveling there, it seemed as safe as anywhere I’d been.

On part of the trip, my daughter took over driving the rental car. We were coming up a ramp from a toll booth and the police were clocking everyone’s speed. We got pulled over for going about five kilometers over the speed limit. My daughter handled the conversation with the police in French and we paid the fine on the spot. My reaction was that the police obviously saw we were foreigners, even though my daughter is a Moroccan resident, and pulled us over to charge a high fine. Later in the trip, when relaying the story to a Moroccan friend, he informed us that we got off cheap. I love when stereotypes get shattered. 

My first day in Meknes, I went to a little corner store to buy some bottles of water. I was trying to figure out what local currency I had. As I was slightly fumbling around, a guy cut right in front of me and bought whatever he was buying. My initial reaction was how rude. Later, I realized that it wasn’t rude at all or directed at me in any way. It’s a different culture and it’s standard to do that. In that same event, I hadn’t figured out the currency yet, so I went up to the counter with two bottles of water and a handful of coins. The guy working there took what he needed. It would have been very easy for him to take it all or ask for more, as it was obvious I wasn’t too clued in on the currency or costs, but he didn’t.

On another day in Meknes, I wandered into this beautiful bakery. Not knowing the language, I used the ever effective pointing method. The person that waited on me put everything in a bag and then got out a calculator and showed me the total. The calculator said 192. With about a ten to one exchange rate to US currency, I thought MAD192, or $20, was a little expensive for five pastries. But everything looked really delicious. I pulled out my dirham bills and saw this puzzled look on the clerk’s face as I went past the 20-dirham bill and handed him a 200-dirham bill. He ended up giving me MAD180.8 back. It was then that I realized I’d missed the decimal point. And, I wondered at that point, how five wonderful pastries could cost less than $2.

Perspective Helps

My favorite author is Richard Bach. One of the quotes from his book Illusions is, “Perspective, use it or lose it.” When I landed in Fes and needed to get from the airport to the train station to go to Meknes, I knew that the cab ride should be MAD150. Well, the cab drivers wanted MAD200. I was getting upset about it. Having been awake for almost 24 hours and being in my third continent in roughly the same time period, I was feeling worn out and didn’t appreciate the need to barter. But then perspective took over and I thought about how an extra MAD50 is $5. Being this tired and anxious to reach the final destination, was I really going to haggle over $5? The answer was easy and I got in the cab and made my train.

In travelling internationally, I developed an approach of not trying to do too much. There is no rule that when you go to Paris, you have to see 1,000 things. One of my favorite parts of the France trip was a day my daughter and I went to Geneva, Switzerland by bus from Annecy. We didn’t plan the day too much other than having a couple of places to see. We spent a lot longer than expected getting to one place and hanging out there, and also spent a lot of time walking around. By the time we got to the Palace of Nations and the Red Cross, they had closed. The restaurant we wanted to eat at didn’t serve fondue at the time we arrived (who knew fondue was only available at certain hours?). While we didn’t get to see as much as we’d hoped, I loved just being in the city, wandering around, letting the day unfold. Geneva seemed casual and calm, at peace with itself. Geneva is one of the top ten most expensive cities in the world to live, but you didn’t get that feeling being there.

Another fear overcome that day was riding the cable car up to Mont-Salève. Google Mont-Salève and perhaps you will gain an appreciation of my fear. I’m not afraid of heights per se but have a fear of falling or crashing. It took all my courage to get into the cable car and go up (and also back down, but going down was not optional at that point). Overcoming the fear was so worth it. The views of Geneva and the lake were breathtaking.

In Barcelona, I took a similar approach. I was there alone, staying at a hotel on Las Ramblas. I had a few places on my list and one person to meet, but I spent a lot of that trip walking, taking in the vibrancy of the city, perhaps never feeling as though I belonged in a place as much as I did in Barcelona. If I got lost, so be it. I found my way back.

Since I was going to Spain and connecting home through Lisbon, some people encouraged me to go to a lot more places in my three-and-a-half days there—Madrid, Granada, Seville, Lisbon. It would have been exhausting and much harder to get a feel for any of the places. Having time to wander and linger, revisit places, and not feel exhausted was precious. To me, nothing helps you get the feel of a place like walking. It allows you to take in so much and go at the pace you most feel like.

Learning From Mistakes

I’ve also enjoyed learning from “mistakes” when I travel. I didn’t realize that in the grocery store in Barcelona, you weigh and sticker all produce before you get to the checkout line. The next time I went in to buy bananas and oranges, I knew exactly what to do. So much so that the woman behind me in line asked me how to do it. 

Another example was trying to find the world renowned Patisserie Philippe Rigollot in Annecy. We finally located it after an hour of wandering. We discovered the next day that it was a block down the hill, across the alleyway from our Airbnb. Next time we went, we got there very quickly!

Looking Forward

International travel was a real confidence booster. You learn to let go, trust yourself, trust the process. You ask questions, try languages; you succeed and you fail. You iterate and do the best you can. You try new things, in part because the circumstances require it. In the end, you come out stronger, more confident, excited for the next adventure.